


we should leave our lovers

by posiepark24



Series: we can choose each other [1]
Category: Legacies (TV 2018)
Genre: F/F, Hope is whipped, Minor Hizzie, also THE LETTER, and penelope have some guy on her arms who looked like the top male model of the century, jealous josie because she does jealousy so good, josie just want penelope back but she has a girlfriend, lol, penelope being a perfect kind of a loveable jerk in josie saltzman eyes, penelope is still queen of being unreadable, pining like extreme, who also have somewhat of penelope's personality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 09:21:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 15,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29329986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/posiepark24/pseuds/posiepark24
Summary: Josie since then has some hope, that somewhere, in the near future or time. She’ll find her way back to that kind of love, to the set of beguiling eyes that seems to shine like the forest and dance like auroras when caught under the light as gold specks whirl on it. The perfect woman she dreamed far often than she liked, now stood in front of her, however, her heart is breaking.Because she was in front of the woman who looked ethereally magnificent, who sounds so wonderful, intelligent, and far more content, whose soul still roars the same intensity and sageness. Yet, they stood on the opposite side, the woman who now belongs to another and her; who has the perfect girlfriend by her side.(set when the merge is done and over with and both of them have their respective significant other and then pining, confusion, and a certain letter is revealed.)
Relationships: Hope Mikaelson/Lizzie Saltzman, Penelope Park/Josie Saltzman
Series: we can choose each other [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2154321
Comments: 13
Kudos: 45





	1. Your Opal Eyes Are All I Wish To See

**Author's Note:**

> wanted to share one of the directions of my imagined universe where a time-jump happened, it's when the merge is not looming at them and we have hizzie and posie in new york. Gave peez a middle name too, just because... also thinking of aunt bex and lizzie bonding over fashion in new york, amirite, lads?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is loooong... but Josie has a lot to say. Excused the grammatical error. I wanted to push this out already because it's already done and the second part was just Penelope's gay panicking and doing dumb stuff before the scenes here. The second part is penelope's perspective.

> _We should leave our lovers and be with one another_   
>  _Run your fingers through my hair and hide under my covers_   
>  _We should leave our lovers, we should run after each other_   
>  _We can share our secrets 'til they swallow one another_
> 
> _\- Leave Your Lover, Echos_

It’s been seven years since her world stop spinning, at first it was because the person she thought was her one true love, broke up with her in the coldest month possible. Fitting. Knowing that she dived through that relationship knowing that the girl in question is known for having a stone-cold heart. The second it happened was when that person left and dropped a nuke on her lap that consistently blew-up on her face for the last six years until, well, until one day, her mother and Hope freaking Mikaelson was on her door in her single dorm room in New York City with her twin sister in towed who she knew was supposed to be spending her time in Paris studying in one of the most prestigious and elite fashion school. 

Josie remembered graduating high school and staying in Mystic Falls for a while. She stayed back to helped run the school even though she knew Dorian could handle the responsibility of being the headmaster. Her real reasoning was the huge fear inside of her about venturing out to the world so she stared at the acceptance letters she received for months, completely missing the on-boarding and enrolment period while her sister focused on a whole year traveling the world before deciding that Fashion School is where she really needs to be.

The staying behind was because she’s afraid to confront her reality that is knowing that the Merge is just ‘round the corner and she couldn’t, she couldn’t push herself to go out of the world and build a future when she could possibly die or commit Sororicide. It was then dubbed as a shackling time for her, knowing how near the Merge is. Just four more years and her life as she knows is over. 

However, staying in Mystic Falls with her few trusted friends awfully rendered her to think of ways to spend her remaining years, she decided then on what to do. After Kaleb and Mg pointed out that wasting her life away inside the four walls of Salvatore is not the way to live she begun to have a fresher outlook on things and it came to her. Studying biology focusing on the genomic make-up of her brain, their brain, their DNA as she convinced herself that it was the best course of action. Gemini twins often had mental health issues and the written paper of Penelope that she left for her to find in her empty dorm room reminds her of it. She didn’t even know that the girl wrote that piece for her Chemistry of Magic class but then it might have been because the entire school knew Lizzie’s condition and she already stumbled on the Merge. That the brain imbalance can be mapped out due to the personalities that dwell in them combined it to the years her family is doing it. That oftentimes it’s a life stopping and living on the twin’s brain who survived, that might have caused havoc of emotional distress. Then the manifestation on the physical too. How it reminded her of how aunt Olivia’s curly light blonde hair is different from her uncle Lucas straight brunette colored hair. How when she met her bio-mom and her uncle and they both looked different. How Lizzie and she were the exact opposite and how Penelope theorized it has something to do to the Parker family’s thousand of years assimilating each other by choosing a leader by that ritual. In a sense, it was like if they married and reproduced the Gemini leader with the absorbed twin traits may it be physical or mental are also present to the offsprings they would bore. It was actually a well-written paper that explained most of her questions. 

Then Hope Mikaelson happened, the tribrid who she expects to be in Paris studying fine arts on her last year in Sorbonne University showed up with her sister. It was the last leg, less than months and they’re twenty-two, she was giving up the chance to live yet Hope showing up and her mind quickly jumps to a conclusion, that somehow they might have a solution. 

She wasn’t wrong, her mother and Hope. They found a way, she also learned that Lizzie also helps whenever she wasn’t at school. A way to change their tragic story. 

The solution: It involved multiple complicated cleansing rituals that with the help of some witches who belong to the order that is living in New York who helped execute it perfectly. A biological spell that Hope’s aunt Freya and aunt Bonnie did to alter the triggering effect of dying once the merge ceremony wasn’t followed. Lastly, the unbinding ritual to the coven which was done by the coven who bonded the Gemini coven thousand of years ago, fully dissolving the existence of Gemini Coven who she finally knew existed for almost five thousand years, so yay.

Another failsafe was also established that will activate if they ever feel different like their life force escaping from their body once the clock strikes for their twenty-third birthday. Now, her mother is happily resuming her position as Headmistress in Salvatore and occasionally visiting her on the weekends. Most times, Lizzie joins in too, sometimes with Hope and Hope’s aunt Bex. Her life is fairly changed but somewhere there lies inside the deepest pit of her mind that keeps on letting her enjoy the safe routined she developed. Like something was missing.

There’s also another thing that happened, it was a binding ritual to re-start anew a much better Gemini Coven, a certain relics have been returned to them with the instruction to follow if Lizzie and she wanted to breathe life to her family’s legacy. A safer ritual that could strengthen their witch side but they haven’t really think much about it. They could set another day to think on it, like do a binding ritual when they’re twenty-four.

However, it feels like a rebirth too. The first time she could freely breathe as nothing hung on her head, knowing they beat the odds. 

It worked. At least she thinks the multiple biological spells work on destabilizing the curse that will kick if they didn’t Merge and reached their twenty-third birthday, her conclusion was on point because it’s March 15, 2037, and she’s out in New York. In one of the newest and most sort-out clubs with Hope Mikaelson, her beloved sister, and her girlfriend Marcella. It’s great, really. She’s getting hammered with the unlimited amount of cocktails that Hope asked the bar to continued sending, she’s thankful at least her night will definitely end with pleasure. _oh, how wrong was she._

Her mind drifts back to the two girls she cared about the most. The two doing a transcontinental teleportation spell still amazed her. Lizzie for the past years has grown so much better that makes her heart burst with so much pride and love. It’s not just personality-wise but how her sister fully embraced being a witch that despite her struggle with herself has fully learned how to hold it together. She doesn’t even worry anymore, she saw the work that her twin put to herself all these years. The validation they constantly craved has also been minimized, understanding that what they need is knowing that they’re doing their best and being the best version of themselves and knowing that despite the distance. The people most important to them support them, at least that’s what she wanted to believe while it was what Lizzie really believes.

Another thing she recognized was the change of pace between Hope and Lizzie. She gathers that these would happen, her sister wasn’t so subtle ever since they were kids that she liked Hope but this, this is new. She didn’t know that the two will cross that line and now that’s alcohol is involved. She could see that as the two got looser, the intimacy of their relationship also manifests. Not to add that Hope staying back in Paris when she already finished her degree just to wait for Lizzie was enough for her to suspect something but they never act like this. It was more liked a dance she witnessed for years. 

It was funny actually, seeing how the two were really trying to mask it when they all had dinner earlier. Now it wasn’t a guessing game to her anymore as her sister definitely has her tongue down Hope’s throat on the dance floor.

“I didn’t know they were dating?” Marcella, the strawberry-haired girl with the darkest blue eyes that remind her of uncle Damon whispered to her ear. They were still in the booth, bopping to the music and drinking a dirty martini. Her girlfriend certainly has been observing the dance floor. She met the girl in her first year in Columbia, they were both Biology majors but the girl leaned to the medical field, she fell on scientific research. She learned that the girl was also a witch and often accompanied her on her lab time, the girl has been her girlfriend for almost one year. 

“I saw it coming,” she gave a distracted answer. 

It just happened one day, at first, it was just a frequent hook-up, and when the petite strawberry-haired woman asked if they were getting serious and yet her being overprotective of her heart still answered yes. The relationship is fulfilling enough that she falls into the rhythm. Waking up in her dorm room, fixing herself, and going out in the vegetarian cafe down the street where Marcella will be seating in their spot with an already ordered go-to breakfast of hers. Then they will cross the street and enter the same building just across, only separating when she turned to her department hallway. Their minor being a little different offered different labs to work on but at least they shared the same building and grab quick late lunches once in a while.

In her opinion, the relationship is safe. Just like the rest of her short relationships back in high school though, this is new. This is the first time that the relationship will turn a whole year and her only reference for that was her first relationship.

Penelope Veronique Park. Penelope Park to most because the witch love alliteration. A play between Satan-incarnate and Lucifer-incarnate for her twin sister because of the favors and IOUs she used to give in Salvatore, she-devil and a close companion to Hope, stone-cold to others, but to her… Penelope Park has been the girl with who she gave her whole entire heart because Penelope despite her cold demeanor inside Salvatore and ridiculously troublesome behaviors have always… been soft, warm, encouraging, supportive, and insanely intelligent that she understood. She understood that the girl’s cold exterior was because she was trained to be the best and too goal-oriented that she wasn’t keen when people threw themselves at herself, yet love the challenge of flustering everybody. She stood as one of the bare witnesses to Penelope Park's ice queen personality in a few months that the girl becomes a student at Salvatore. 

It has something to do with how many desired the witch and fully enjoying the affections but when it became serious Penelope will just turn cold and it was cruel until they happened. She never expects that her feelings were reciprocated and that Penelope was even serious at dating her to the point where she was even invited as the girl’s date on a very special event. She wasn’t expecting that the girl who spent some of her time mentoring her even saw her that way. Despite being flirted at she never really think it was something serious that the confession blinded her but broke her nonetheless. Because a year later. Penelope Park broke up with her, and the cruel thing about it was how the girl never gave her a real answer and done by a short almost ten seconds phone call. 

Even now she doesn’t understand why it still hurt her despite the breakup happening a lifetime ago. 

Her, subsequently trying to bury her hurt by hating the girl so much and whenever she thought that Penelope will try harder to get back together she shut it down. God. How much she almost hated her reply when Penelope asked her to hang out instead reminded the girl that the kiss they shared was nothing because they were under the influence of a mind-controlling slug then learning that Penelope was leaving at the last minute. The worst thing to ever happened. 

The girl has a way of frustrating her, the witch way of talking in riddles. 

She knew that she couldn’t really help that it’s how she is but for so long she wishes she wasn’t and just lay down everything because of that night. That night was the worst night of her life and a hard reminder of keeping her heart safe by not giving herself completely to anyone because goddamnit. Penelope Park broke her in more ways than one. 

It wasn’t because she was the absolute worst when it comes to the relationship. Because Penelope Park is the perfect girlfriend despite her idiosyncrasies and the witch showed her how to love and be loved. The raven-haired beauty refreshed her memory of why she was so scared of love in the first place. It was Penelope who confirmed her theoretical assumption that loving someone completely will wreck her heart once it fell apart.

Josie was inside her head thinking all things Penelope when she realized where she’s at and who she’s with. A mental sighed escape her. She shouldn’t even be thinking of the raven-haired witch, she kept thinking she shut all things, Penelope, in the deep recesses of her mind yet her heart continued to bring it up. 

Josie shifted to look at Marcella. The girl who has been so patient and understanding of her. The girl stayed through everything with her despite her daily outburst once the merge got nearer and nearer. The girl who still believes that she is brilliant and best, the girl who looked at her like she’s the best thing in the world, and when electric blue eyes stared at her all she wishes was the changing colors of Penelope’s hazel eyes are staring back at her. The eyes that dance when the light caught in it, reminiscent of an opal not the electrifying blue of a cloudless day sky.

This is pathetic. She knew but her stubborn heart wouldn’t stop even when she wanted it to stop. She already hid all things that remind her of the prodigious witch but whenever certain things were spoken up by the strawberry-haired girl beside her, another part of her brain supplied information pertaining to the other witch. 

Her musing stopped when Marcella grab her arms, she didn’t even notice that the girl had stood up and smiling slyly down at her.

“Come on, birthday girl. I think I owe you a dance.” she laughs, but she let the girl pull her on the dance floor. 

“I thought it was more than a dance knowing Dr. Grey pulled you out of our Sunday breakfast?”

“Shhh… Baby, don’t pout. You had breakfast with your mom. I have my medical school to sort out… and Dr. Grey is writing me a recommendation to Harvard. I mean… she’s Dr. Alexandra Grey. I couldn’t pass up to at least smooth things over, she rarely gives talks and—“

“Alright! I was just kidding, babe.” she laughs, seeing how the girl under the changing lights looked too flustered and rambling out valid excuse when she was just messing with the woman. 

“Good, because you know I could never tell what you mean…” she stops, the music suddenly get muted or white noise as their body is closer and the strawberry haired girl aptly reminded her of their stupid fight a week ago. That’s another spiral she never wants to think of but keeps jumping out of her, the way she could compare everyone she’s been with to Penelope. How the girl knew her in a quick study yet past lovers and present ones never seem to notice. It’s the way Penelope would know if she needed some helped on some task, or an emotional support shoulder to lean on when she feels the world is closing on in her. The way Penelope could offer her quiet and still feel so comforted with wise words and cheesy liners to take her mind off things, and some sultry ones too. No, she needs to stop. 

“I’m sorry.” the apologies quickly came out of her as she pulled the girl middle much closer, they were on the dance floor near the DJ booth. Kissing her cheek when her eyes zoned out to two people near them, two people have inconspicuously slightly hidden from the view of them, yet her wandering eyes caught them. The profile though half-hidden due to the intense make out and groping happening around reminded her of a certain someone, then she spotted a rather large ring on their middle finger where the light caught the black obsidian to shine. It’s a gliding bird, a raven. Her spine ran cold and she forgets everything. 

Josie felt that her mind is playing tricks on her until the familiar intoxicating perfume wafted on her senses, to add the long cascading black hair, the extremely expensive and stylish head-to-toe get-up screams Penelope Park. The witch, however, rarely wears the stupidly big ring since she got it on her sixteenth birthday after one of her far too many coven trials for the coven leader’s apprentice but she saw it enough times on the way it sat next to the witch side table ready to be used whenever because Penelope settled on using the necklace of eo than the birthright that was given to her. A lewd inside joke thrown at her made her blushed far more times than she can remember but she was sure the reason was that the witch was always trying to downplay showing her belongingness to one of the oldest covens.

Josie was so caught off guard that she was now standing on the dance floor while her _girlfriend_ turned around. Asking her what’s the matter. She almost chokes on her tongue when Hope and Lizzie came at her. 

“Hey, I thought we lost you,” Hope said but Josie was far too distracted to pay attention to her as she ogled the scene happening in front of her. A shot to her heart as the tall blonde man and Penelope Park continued to make out in front of her. Only separating to breathe. It was torture yet she couldn’t look away. She missed seeing the witch. “Wa—wait… Peez!!?!” Josie wasn’t sure what happened next. All she knew was Hope was dragging Penelope Park who’s smudge red lip looked a bit shocked being pulled mid making-out.

“The fuck— wait for— Mikaelson? Aren— What’s—“ Penelope Park stood dumbfounded, staring at her. She wanted to run, to leave like the times whenever she sees Penelope in the arms of someone else. 

“Penelope…” there’s a pep in her sister's tone which was different whenever Lizzie will growl out Penelope’s name in anger or annoyance. 

Penelope pulled her stunned gaze at her and turned to Lizzie and Hope. Her face becoming unreadable after the bout of emotions that passed on Penelope’s features. 

“Aren’t you two supposed to be in Paris?!?!” Josie wasn’t sure what’s happening but hearing how Penelope knew that Lizzie and Hope were supposed to be in France and seeing that Lizzie and Hope looked a bit guilty, confirming the running thoughts inside her head. That the three have been in contact and she was put in the dark. It's absolutely hurting her. 

“It’s the twins' birthday, dumbass!” Hope yelled and she watches as the information dawned in the extremely attractive girl.

“Oh, yeah, Happy 23rd Birthday Lizzie, Josie.” Penelope greets them. It surprises her how nonchalant the raven-haired witch and she's sure her expression showed hurt. “Do you guys, wanna come and joined me upstairs? The music is damn loud—“

She drowns out the voice of Penelope when what she could categorize as a six-foot-tall arm candy that Penelope sucking face with appeared beside the girl. He stood too tall beside the smaller witch, she observed him, the guy almost looked like a model. The chiseled speckled face is too much partnered with bleached curled back hair and grey eyes and the bespoke shirt that seems to hug his body despite the creases that she might add was due to the two almost doing it. 

Josie was lost, too busy eyeing the _competition_. No, she’s with Marcella. How is this competition? They’re adults, the relationship happened almost eight years ago. She should’ve moved on. She’s moved on. 

Josie kept replaying those words as Hope and Lizzie followed the girl and the bleached hair guy upstairs, even his back looked too alluring in her taste that she wanted to up and leave yet she got pulled along with Marcella, whose arms are wrapped around her waist.

“I guess the Merge is not a problem anymore.” Penelope beamed at them, however, her focus was the place they entered. It was a private room, no music can be heard once the door thud behind her and it looked like a game room with the billiard, private bar, and large TVwith large sectionals. 

“No, we’d beat it.” she was the one who answered as Lizzie went off with a different topic.

“What are you doing in New York?” there’s a concerned looked from Lizzie. As if, she knew something she wasn’t aware of. 

She squints her eyes at her twin. “Lizzie,” it was Hope before looking back to Penelope with questioning eyes, “we thought you were accepting the Oxford Masteral?” Hope finished.

“Yeah, no. Columbia’s offer is much better and you know one of the family businesses is here in New York, I got back two months ago.” Penelope answered. She eyed her sister and Hope then it dawned on them that she was particularly clueless as Hope went out for an explanation.

“Peez, graduated in Sorbonne last year.” 

Josie doesn’t know what she’s feeling. A lot is happening and her mind was a complete mess, not to add that she hasn’t said many words the entire time their worlds collide. 

Then Penelope took the necessity to break her unresponsive eyeing. 

“I’m Penelope Park,” the woman still has her charming glint as she held out her hand to Marcella. 

“I know, you’re… you’re— sorry, you’re…” she suddenly eyed the girl beside her, not knowing her usually level-headed girlfriend is almost choking out on words. There’s a flustered looked on her girlfriend’s face that she wasn’t aware was even possible. 

Then Penelope looked a bit sheepish as she follows the question, “I don’t know if I’ll be afraid or what about that. Can you please enlighten me, miss…”

“It’s Marcella Wren. I’m Josie’s girlfriend,” there’s a light pink-tinged spreading on the girl’s cheeks as she looped her arms around Josie’s arm. 

“Well, Marcella, I don’t know what you heard but I’m afraid that knowing where…” Penelope's eyes dart at her, “your information came—“ she wanted to protest, to get mad, and to tell Penelope that whatever she was insinuating doesn’t have to do with the two of them being an ex-flame.

“My mother was in your ascension as a high—.” Marcella provides an answer and suddenly, understanding spread on Penelope. She wasn’t sure if the words connecting the flustered looked were because she was Josie’s most hated ex that the girl looked entirely horrified and amazed.

“Oh, that.” Penelope easily cuts Marcella, realizing that they are not just supernaturals as the tall man got introduced by Penelope. “This lovely arm candy of a human is Keaton Thrace.” 

“Now darling, I know you exude far more money, intelligence, and pedigree but to reduce me into an arm candy hurt.” the man was charming, clearly great, and likened to Penelope’s personality. A completely attractive person with the way he introduced himself, charming and dirtily sexy.

The man turned to them, he has this perfect smile with his perfect teeth and dimples. 

“I’m Marcus Keaton Thrace, Keat to anyone’s who’s Penelope’s friend and my friends. I’m a new associate lawyer under Fielding & Balik LLP. She’s indirectly my boss.” Penelope laughs, Josie is certain that she never heard something more beautiful than that, well, except when Penelope can be tricked to sing which was whenever the raven-haired witch is intoxicated. 

“That falls under harassment,” Hope bantered, looking pointedly at Penelope.

“Please, I don’t own the law firm, however, they handled legal and patent issues NCST and Ethuil’s have.” Penelope’s eyes are shining.

In its entirety, her night was done. She found herself having a stiff drink knowing that the Monday morning needs her utmost clearheadedness to get back to the lab and check as she set a schedule to used the Protein Array Scanner due to the hybridization of Dr. Pong’s research is available the first thing in the morning. It was one of her duty as the woman’s TA’s as she continued her descent to computational biology. 

However, her lab works are all forgotten as Penelope came barreling back on her life with her charming gait and revelry. She’s caught inside the eye of the storm as the night progressed. While Hope and Lizzie talk to Penelope’s date, her girlfriend acts totally enamored to her ex as they talked about nanotech research that Penelope’s family is bankrolling. 

Josie chose to sit in silence and to nurse a huge amount of cognac that seems to flow easily. Cognac, a sarcastic comment was on the tip of her tongue but she bit it. Knowing it wasn’t the time, or the time being never because she couldn’t have any inside joke with the raven-haired witch anymore. 

No amount of alcohol seems to drown that, that, they stood far different now. 

This time, under the low light of the room she chose to stare at the dark-haired witch as Marcella’s arms around her waist seems to run cold for her liking. 

Penelope is still drop-dead gorgeous and far more relaxed. Unlike her attitude when they were younger where the witch has too much energy that her attention was always fleeting from one topic to the next. An example was whenever they would hang out to watched or binge some shows on Netflix, the witch has a way to disrupt the show to comment on things happening. Leading her to just rewatched the show some other time because they will get distracted with one another or Penelope will egg her opinion with her contrarian reasoning, she’s fairly sure the witch does the latter just to rile her up. Now she spoke with calmness, steady confidence too which is nothing new. 

Josie knew the witch aged far more beautifully physically but by the way she talks. Gone were the days were her response was cold and dismissive to others which is why the whole school was scared of the witch in the first place. Even the air of superiority is gone but as you listened to her steady velvet tone of speaking, and how Penelope’s eyes spoke words of experience. She just knew the time they spent apart had shown a certain growth to the witch, and she still craved it. However changed Penelope is, she still loved to exist in her world, their world where they do stupid spells, or Penelope teaching her how to play all kinds of strategy-based board games. From Go, Shogi to chess to even knowing Surakarta because _‘it’s important, babe, it’s practically in my genes because I’m Indonesian and you should know my culture if you ever really want to pass my Opa's test.’_ Or how she can offend Penelope whenever she speaks up her mind over her disdain on how chess is too cruel and how it’s not right for pawns or officers to be sacrifice just to win. In that, she remembered how naive she was, how innocent is she to think that she could come out in the world and not realized that the world is full of chess pieces left and right. 

But in that she’s reminded of another part of Penelope, how foolish she can be alight even if she viewed the world darkly as she continually quotes Midsummer Night’s and Twelfth Night to heart. Just a year of being together yet the profound experience and high she gets from the girl is not enough for her that she found herself craving it back. Because there’s something about how at ease and at home she is while wrapped around all things Penelope. How the girl could give her the run of her money about all the things she said she wouldn’t do but did it anyway. How she said she’ll never streak naked that cold December just outside of Mystic Falls yet she did it anyway. How a lot of her words are no yet her actions said the opposite and it’s always have been Penelope who got her to do it. Something about the way she sounds so supportive of the idea and how she wouldn’t regret trying it just push her to do it. 

As memories flood her back with warmth something caught her eyes, there’s a slight running scar on the witch's pristine face. A rather visible scar near her right temple. A wave of certain anger grew in her veins, as she wanted to know how the witch got it and in her inebriated state, almost touch it until she heard it.

“You’re in Columbia. We’re also in Columbia. Why don’t we have a double date?” her unsuspecting girlfriend asked, panic ran through her, making her mind sober for a moment. Penelope was surprised but quickly hide it as she fleeted meeting her eyes and her girlfriend. 

Even Hope and Lizzie tuned in. Waiting, how the situation will go.

For the years she knew her girlfriend they never really talked about exes. Marcella is too clueless about her past and assumed that her opting to stay out of a relationship has something to do with sparing lovers on loving someone who has a death sentence set on. She never did correct it and when the joy of fixing the merge was shared with the blue-eyed girl. That’s when their relationship turned serious, as labels are suddenly welcomed, now, that she doesn’t have her foot on death’s door.

Even then, she wanted it to be the green-eyed witch who has set her mind and body on fire. The first person who showed her how consuming it all was because nothing compares after that. She hated that fact for years until she realized it. Safe is okay. She wouldn’t deal with the world of riddles, a daring world where she felt she’s always running high with the way Penelope Park spun her around, or deal with her cheeky and overly no boundaries personality. Penelope Park used to make her blood boiled with the mixture of anger and want meanwhile Marcella Wren is the calm you would want to be surrounded with. She has a quiet intelligence, both emotional and intellectual. Somewhat like Hope to her when she found herself crushing to the tribrid meanwhile Penelope is the opposite. She’s loud and trespassing in all ways but she’s also warmth, a sense of freedom, and feeling that you could have the world because Penelope made her feel like that, often enough she believes it that’s why it hurts. 

Being discarded in seconds. 

Then the whole I hate you but I love to fuck you so damn much. 

Happened. 

Because the hate and anger were her ways to deal with the reality that she loves Penelope Park and she will take the raven-haired back in a heartbeat if the girl tried enough until it backfired on her. When she listened to her sister, about how she couldn’t entertain anything that has to do with Penelope, that she should protect her heart then it was too late. She left and left the words that remained too much for her. A vivid explanation, a confession, and goodbye rolled into one. She never hated and loved something like it but that’s how her relationship with the witch is. The extreme polarity of loving the girl too much and hurting so much because dammit. She loves Penelope with her entire being even if they were young. She knew what they had was far different from the rest. It’s the reason why she constantly wishes that she could have it back.

Then the question rolls in.

How do you go moving forward in life when that someone broke their own heart because they saw you reduced yourself. It was true. Penelope Park has the most inconvenient time to be candid. It’s always what caught her off guard, how blindsided she usually is when it comes to the dark-haired girl. Leaving her dry for almost a month and confessing she likes you after. It’s always a whiplash. Opening to her one time then going back to being herself. Teaching her when she couldn’t even have the time to entertain lesser people as Penelope called most of their peers. The unabashed attention and come-ons the first year they knew each other. Giving her undivided attention when the girl couldn’t even hold a long conversation with anyone. Always being late to class but never to her. The first time Penelope said she loves her and how she got kicked out of the girl’s room because the witch needed to prepare for coven duties. It was a whirlwind. Her short notes, letters filled with sincere adoration when her words spoke something else until in sync a little year later. 

Lastly, It’s the way her last written letter echoes inside her mind. A letter she memorized now because she’d read it a million times and until now, even after all this time. She knew every word to heart and whenever she has a weak heart. Like dates that remind her of the witch, she’ll pull out the rather large wooden box containing mementos of their time together. She never rummages that box, she finds herself torturing her own self by grabbing the folded letters on top of it. The remainder of the last memory she had of Penelope.

_Hey, Jo-Jo,_

_It’s absurd, after all the notes and letters I used to magically sent you, the final letter I had for you was given in person. I know, I just wanted to make sure that you’ll read it. Or to at least make you understand the severity of my letter that you’ll open your heart to read it and even open a dialogue with me once you’ve read its content. I never gave you much explanation for our break up and I knew it hurt you deeply. Thinking that you were like all the girls, discarded and left behind because there’s someone far interesting when you aren’t. You’re far too special for me, Josie. It’s the reason why I’m writing this. Words are written for you to know and to solidify that what we had was real and something I’ll treasure forever. It was the reason why I always write you notes, so you have proof that this is what I feel because words spoken are words forgotten with time but written ones, they stayed as the ink is a permanent reminder, unless you lost it, Jo-Jo. So I write you this, a complete honesty once again. You always tend to questions that about me, I admit it hurts whenever you think I wasn’t honest and I’m never one to lie but I’m also one to circumvent a lie by not talking about it._

_It’s been almost three years since I first saw you. Summer of May as I well remember, I was being toured around here with my family and your mother. You caught my eyes since then, from the way you stand, from a shy content smile as you read, a look of concern to the flustered look of anger and regret that plays in your beautiful visage. It was by then I realized I don’t mind going to this stupid school, might as well enjoy it if I get to be regaled by your presence._

_There was something back then, behind my mind I wasn’t sure yet. But there’s a fire that was lit up by that short encounter. I remember I couldn’t wait for late August to roll in. I wanted the school year to starts, to get to know you when the school setting never appealed to me. Though I don’t understand that want and chalked it up to fascination and wonder because hey, I’m a girl who never experienced what it was to live in the school. Like what you told me, it must have been because I'm homeschooled. So far, what I realized back now is that you caught my eyes because my usually empty heart has been searching for you. In every room and every place since I met you, I found myself relating things back to you._

_I didn’t understand that, I’ll admit. I think it was due to how the witches who grew up witnessing you twins grow up, how they painted you and Lizzie. The mean girls of the headmistress and headmaster. So I kept my eyes on you to check, not knowing that I was being particular. But what I met was someone, someone who wasn’t mean, someone who has been fighting through life to be better, like think about it, we’re teens filled with far too many hormones add to the fact that we’re supernaturals. At that equation, you still try to thrive forward. You have the maturity to know what was right and wrong and clearly, you fought demons to get there._

_The time I spent admiring and watching you revolved around one discovery. That one, you, Josette Olivia Saltzman, like the rest of us is sad, lonely, and alone. It was then I figured out it was due to your father, you looking different from the headmistress and there’s your twin condition that you feel the need to always come to her rescue. I promised since then that I’ll try, I’ll try to pull you out because I tend to do that._

_It’s the reason why I’m friends with Hope, in the first place. It’s the reason why I told myself I need to guide you until I realized, the reason why I was so caught up with you was that I was falling for you. I spent my whole stay here obsessing with you and not knowing what I have for you was far more than a fascination. What runs underneath my veins is far different to be called infatuation. It was love, Josie. I love everything about you, I love the way you love, the way you fight with me, and the way you carry your heart in your sleeves. I love the times when all I could see is the way you lose yourself in laughter, or how I render you useless whenever I expressed how deep my affection goes. I love the concentration you have whenever we practiced magic in secret. I love all the times you take care of me from my death-like cramps to bringing me food because you think I wasn’t eating enough, too absorb to my projects. However, loving you hurts too, Josie._

_Loving you reminds me that despite all the love and happiness in the world that we provide to one another, my love despite being big and endless at it seems wasn’t enough. Falling in love with you while trying to help you without you knowing hurts far more deeply. I cannot act blind to the biggest issue that you face._

_And, sadly, It was my nature to pull out someone from their extreme savior complex, because I think of myself far too logical and see the damage they're inflicting not knowing I’m just becoming the worst._

_Being a savior to people like you. It’s never healthy but I was used to carrying a weight far more heavy than anyone that I think I could do it._

_Jo-Jo, ever since I met you… I feel liked I knew you then I get to know you. It’s why I never understood why you act the way you act at first. You’ve become a puzzle I couldn’t wait to solve. The way you make yourself small to make Lizzie shine is not living, especially in how you were hurting in doing so. I’m not dismissing Lizzie’s sensitivities and her mental health, what I hate about it was how you think you’re a slave to your sister's whims when you could’ve done other things you really wanted. You are not living and I cannot stay and watch you do it to yourself because I’m so in love with you and it breaks my heart how it affects you._

_You’re teetering to the edge and all you care about is the people that are around you. It’s the reason why I broke up with you in the first place, Josie. It wasn’t because you were not enough, or I don’t love you, or the love I feel for you wasn’t enough. I wanted you to have more time for yourself because you’ve let every other person that surrounds you consumed you to the point that you’re losing yourself. I never wanted that and I saw what happened to people who are like you._

_What I’ve been withholding you was the reason why I have certain anger when it comes to my father. I knew we talked about this but I never expound on it. But when you learned that the father you hated is suffering hence the people you love also suffer and you don’t know what to do but help them and discovering it happened just to save you and you’ve read it in one of his letters. That was a total shitshow and damaging, I still don’t think I processed it right, though I’ve come to accept that the man I think I knew is a loving kind man who just loved too hard and lost too much. It’s why when I talked about my father last year I told you about how sometimes actions created by others are a reflection of what they fear most and the best course of action, is facing that fear and confronting it._

_This isn’t some pessimist view but Josie, some people have their fate sealed since they were born. No amount of sacrifice could change the fact that you’re hiding behind your family issues. Thinking that you need to act okay all the time as to not disappoint your too disappointing father or your sister’s bout of mental issues. At one point you need to understand that Lizzie needs to face her own demons and you need to face your own. You’re so far down to involving yourself with others that you’ve been ignoring your own problems, thinking it wouldn’t creep in you if you keep focusing on others._

_So yes, this letter is an explanation for that night. I created a problem for you, losing me when I still love you to show you that you should look at yourself, because Josie, I knew no amount of whining from me can change your views about the way you’re too involved with others to think for yourself because whenever we’re together you’re being yourself. You’re always real to me, Josie and I wanted to point out the difference when you were outside of our world. How your plans seem to revolve around pleasing your dad or Lizzie to the point that you neglect your own wants._

_How most times you wanted to say no but you couldn’t because disappointing them is the last thing you wanted. To me, however, you learned to prod and act out. You’re expressing your real emotions and not hiding them and since then I realized what I had to do. It never meant for you to hate me, it’s just a way for me to show you how different it will be once I’m not in your life however it seems like I broke my own heart for nothing. You chose Lizzie over and over and though you sometimes take, it’s just only with me and sometimes done to hurt me. I’m exhausted creating strategies in my mind to change your views, now, the school has far more serious issues to deal with._

_Monsters who’ve been coming to school, causing harm and it’s making you terrified for the people you love. This is why I’m telling you another thing, my mother got another task, a job in Brussels to manage one of the galleries my grandmother inherited from her mother’s family. I, however, will go to Leuven where a witch-only school is located._

_I write this as a form of goodbye and I’m sorry._

_I’m sorry that I wasn’t enough. I’m sorry I broke my promise. I’m sorry I couldn’t stay beside you_ **forever**. I’m sorry that through my actions you felt more alone, sad, and lonely. I’m sorry for breaking your heart. 

_But know this, I’ll love you forever, Jo-Jo._

_with all my selfishly cold but well-intentioned heart,_

_Penelope Park_

Josie since then has some hope, that somewhere, in the near future or time. She’ll find her way back to that kind of love, to the set of beguiling eyes that seems to shine like the forest and dance like auroras when caught under the light as gold specks whirl on it. The perfect woman she dreamed far often than she liked, now stood in front of her, however, her heart is breaking. 

Because she was in front of the woman who looked ethereally magnificent, who sounds so wonderful, intelligent, and far more content, whose soul still roars the same intensity and sageness. Yet, they stood on the opposite side, the woman who now belongs to another and her; who has the perfect girlfriend by her side. 

A questioningly look at her as they asked her to say something, something about a double date because they all go to the same university and it will be fun, she couldn’t say it would be fun. Because all she wanted was the woman in front of her yet she couldn’t break the heart of the girl who stayed by her side for years for a shot in the dark relationship with the woman she often dreams about. 

“I—“ Penelope was about to answer when her lips started moving on their own.

“That’s a lovely idea, babe.” she smiled at Marcella before turning to Penelope, “How about a double date, _Pen_?” Josie couldn’t help herself but add that tone. A reminder to Penelope how different she calls the raven-haired witch yet it infuriates her how Penelope’s demeanor doesn’t even reflect an ounce of recognition.

Josie Saltzman, despite her open wound, broken heart, and the messy situations this entails looked at Penelope Park with challenging eyes. 

Her twin and Hope displayed shocked expressions. Lizzie recovering first.

“Why not make it a triple date?” her eyes drifted to her sister, blindsided that the tensed situation was the time her sister dropped the real score between her and the tribrid.

“I don’t think Keaton and I hold a candle to the relationships you couples have.” 

Josie could feel the other girl’s dismissing the idea until Keaton butted in.

“Darling, you really wanna show your long-time friends that I’m just a bed warmer?” 

She never wanted to hex someone to die horribly this much but the way Keaton has been shameless, and the way it reminds her of Penelope’s flirting make her heart twist in impossibly dark places. 

“Ugh, No. Keaton, stop being overly attached. We both know it’s not you. Besides, it got more interesting. I mean I saw it coming but I need some girls’ time to know how Hope got out of her ass and asked Queen of Mean right here to be her girlfriend. I need some girls' day. Perhaps, a chat involving breakfast, what you say, tomorrow?” 

“Honestly, same. When did this happened, Liz?” she eyed her twin. Her eyes interrogatory but Lizzie smiled at her, that sickeningly sweet smile with a threatening look that means I’m not telling you unless you agree for breakfast tomorrow.

“Why don’t we have some breakfast tomorrow, with Penelope and I’ll regal you of all the ways Hope Andrea Mikaelson woos me.”

Penelope tried to hide a laugh.

“I don’t think there’s to woo when you’re too ready to throw yourself at her, Elizabeth.”

“Hey, stop being mean at my girl, you’re the Queen of Mean.”

“Red, we both know, I’m the Ice Queen.”

“Whatever, Elsa.” 

Just like that, the tension is gone. She wonders how it is that her twin’s revolting and murderous reaction on all things Penelope Park is gone. As if they’re even friends and the snarkiness is nothing but a thrown friendly jabs as it has no bite, a bitchy banter that Hope often called whenever Penelope and Hope are being called out to their routined exchanged of words whenever they passed one another in a classroom, the gym or the hallways of Salvatore. It’s like Lizzie is somewhat part of that now. 

She needed a drink and a lot. 


	2. Love Me With Your Sad Eyes, Drain Me Of My Color

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Penelope just wants Josie back. How hard is it, really?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, I got this ready yesterday but I was out. 
> 
> enjoy! LMK what you think!

> History’s a letter made of scarlet  
> Victories look better when you’ve called it  
> Misery’s the moment when I lost you  
> It’s pleasure in a costume  
> It’s more than what it cost you
> 
> There’s too much smoke to see it  
> There’s too much broke to feel this  
> Well, I love you, I love you  
> And all of your pieces
> 
> -Pieces, Andrew Belle

If it was months ago and someone tells Penelope that she was coming back to the States, she’ll be like fuck no, I’m never coming back. 

She has a settled life between Colmar and London. She’s happy. Happy as she can be as the glaring truth that she’s suffering and the love of her life had moved on. Leaving her alone in a quest to help herself. 

It was fine, she never did love the thought of handling the business,anyways, so she stayed in Colmar. The vineyard was Thea’s, it was her father’s beloved property after all, and Thea has always been the glorified daughter but the old guy wasn’t really picking favorites, knowing she got the path going through the mountainous area. The cabin where she could live life alone and focus on the coven and her own research for some cure over her predicament. It was fine, you know how fine someone who’s living in the middle of the woods, focusing on just being with nature, creating her own sustainable living. 

Fuck, she’s lying. She spent most of her time inside her study than outside to enjoy the French countryside because of the minuscule reality that her life is on the line and felt like her life stopped at seventeen. She’s twenty-four now. She had a double-degree but it’s a distraction. A way for her to stop thinking, to stop herself from going there. 

In a way, she created a sort of too busy life to the point of she’s too exhausted to think of Josie. It’s been years since she worked closely with Caroline to helped with the merge. It’s almost a year since they performed multiple spells just to break a curse. 

So her life revolves around other things now, more focused on her coven responsibilities. Her responsibility for herself. For her family. Even her relationship with her older sister has been much better when they spent all their childhood plotting of ending each other. 

It hilarious, to think how much Thea hated her and vice versa but now she doesn’t mind the almost everyday visit. Her sister's way to make sure she’s alive in her bunker because she’s far too caught up studying ways to stop the affliction she received almost seven years ago. 

Then it happened, her father’s conditioned worsen and it went back to bite her, she’s so focused on others she forgot her predicament. Her aunt and mother flying the comatose body of Archimedes Valentin Park from the Ravenwood to New York so her aunt Pan could check and stabilized him. It was then she learned that the reason why her mother’s family spell and her aunt’s spell to suppressed her magical ability works is because her mother is bonded to her father. Her blood recognizing the suppressive sigil as a match but if ever Archimedes’ body dies, she just knows it’s far too late for her, her body couldn’t remain in here if she wanted to keep the world and her family safe. 

It’s the reason why her mother and her siblings were all going to great lengths to find a way with her to oversee a solution to the problem she had at hand.

Thus forcing her to move back. 

If you asked Penelope if she’s happy. She could say she is, but if you really knew the woman. You’ll learn that it was a practiced and perfected look.

And thankfully, it’s only her mother could tell. They spent too much time together when she was younger that Aurora Park could tell with just a glance what really is she feeling. 

“Penny,” she grimaced, she always hated that nickname yet her mother and the rest of her siblings, even aunt’s and grandparents to the exception of her grandfather on the mother side because he was always been the one understanding enough that she never liked being called _‘Penny’._

“Yeah, ma?” she asked, pushing her head off the multitudes of pillows that surround her in her queen-sized bed. 

“I’m flying to Marseilles, can you go to the board meeting.”

Of course, after a whole night of almost killing herself with another set of spells her mother had instructed her to sit with humans and witches to deal with some kind of report in Midtown. Fuck. Her. Life. She went back to trapping her face on the pillow.

But what she didn’t know was her mother was keenly studying her.

“How much longer are you gonna pretend that Josie is not the love of your life, honey?” she felt the side of her bed dipped and her mother’s hand glide on her hair. Untangling the knots of her bed head. “You’ve been here for almost a month and a half. You’ve just met a few of the faculty and returned home, even Stella and Lily are like buzzing bees in my ears. You have not even tried going out or even met old friends.” Penelope Park never really did talk feelings to her mother, though they are close. 

Occasionally, though, her mother will talk in riddles, not this kind of on-point talking.

She groans, not really in the mood to talked about the brunette.

It’s been hellish years looking for the possible solutions so Josie and Lizzie could live a satisfying normal life as they could be, a normal life that a witch could be, like practice magic, have a family without thinking that holy shit they could not even have a family of their blood because if they did survive the Merge the reality that the next generation will be afflicted by an outdated blood-curling blood curse.

A reminder of their time spent in a cramped apartment of Caroline in Paris because there are too many witches and even vampires inside that come and goes. 

Lizzie at times couldn’t stop talking about the predicament and going on about having a big family, the white picket fence, and growing old and having grandchildren. How sometimes she will go on with a long ranting rant of just being a vampire. It’s driving her nuts and she doesn’t know how she took it for almost four years. Sometimes, involving her in her make-up dream when she’s trying to really concentrate on some spell. And the reality that she couldn’t have a family with Josie. As if they are talking and still in love with one another as if she remained or belong to the brunette when she’s been buried so deeply that she’s sure Josie wouldn’t recognize her anymore. 

Then a reminder of why she wanted to do it for them.

_“Maybe I should have just let Sebastian turned me… did you know the only thought I was thinking back then was I don’t want to be a vampire, I want to grow old, have children, lived with a dog, and have someone who’ll grow old with me. Now, I just wished I took it.”_ _it was Lizzie when she’s too exhausted and broken being droved crazy by some designer on her fashion apprenticeship and desolate over failed spells while running on fumes trying out a different spell._

It was a bittersweet memory. A kind that reminds her what her end goal is, and they’ve achieved it. It was so right in the ballpark yet she couldn’t really do anything about her feelings, because Josie is happy. She saw her with the redhead, it was then that after the solution was established that she saw Josie starts to live her life again. All her wishes about the girl finally happening even if isn’t with her.

It’s something she has laid her mind to accept for the entire years she’d been working off solutions for the Merge. That she’ll go on living and dying with knowing that she’ll never feel the kind of love Josie could give her.

“Ma, I’ve established I’ve been in love with her almost a decade ago.”

“Then what are you doing here?”

“You know what I’m doing here,” she answered pointedly, like a child who’s on the verge of throwing a tantrum.

“Honey, you know you could have a life outside of this, right, we still have years. Your aunt is making sure your father is okay. Stop trying to shoulder everything, our friends are working out a solution. Stop slaving your body to death.”

At that time she wanted to answer some dark sarcasm but she held back. She couldn’t do it to her mother who has been suffering from losing the love of her life with a jab about her death. It’s never right because her mother will go on a long lecture about it’s never right for a parent to bury their kids, it should always be the other way around. So she kept quiet and stood up to go to her walk-in bathroom to run a cold shower. She knows she needed the numbing water for her aching body.

And that’s how it started. Leaving her too bright bedroom in New York to go to Midtown where the Park Tower stood so high and attend the meeting on the fifty-six floors. 

She’s never one to pay attention to the business side because after all figures and graphs she’d seen it doesn’t change anything for someone like them. She’s already swimming in far too much to really care if the graphs, for now, are sliding a bit downwards. What she cared though was knowing if the companies research projects are running efficiently. If there’s a legal problem with some countries or some demands not being met. That’s how she met Keaton Thrace, she was bulldozing the army of lawyers in front of her due to the fact about the important legal document of an important patent was huge garbage and how she has circled the words inside the binder. 

She’s definitely eating them alive by much-calculated rage is radiating off her as she re-iterates every section that caught her eyes wrong. It’s by then they realized that she might not have talked throughout the five-hour discussion of their statistic performance because Penelope Park was busy reading every legal file regarding the execution of their projects.

The bleached-haired man chuckled while the senior partner he worked with paled. The fifty-year-old balding man with a large beer belly who she knew is far too high from cocaine try to tell her off that he could fix it. Just give him time. Adding to the rage she’s feeling as she emphasized the fact that billable hours that he would work again on the binder will never be paid because it was the most fucked up legal document she ever read and if they enter high with cocaine again then the partner will be fired from the law firm because heaven knew the law firm was established by some great forebear she never met and being led by her godfather at the moment. 

She stormed out of there, disregarding the scared looked of Paxton and Percy. She quickly finds the nearest fire exit and lit a joint, what she didn’t know was the meeting was dismissed by her brother. 

“We thought it was, Ms. Astra Park who we should be scared about… where did you even come from?”

A cool yet baritone voice speaks to her side. She eyed the human, he is tall and wearing a crisp navy blue suit. A bit of a looker, that normal people would think he was some model instead of a lawyer. 

“and what about the lecture of not coming to work high… you’re a hypocrite” 

She almost wanted to laugh, the audacity of the man. 

“It’s medicinal, fuck off this is my spot.”

“Just because you own the building doesn’t mean you could lay it down like that… fire exit is a public domain. Or you didn’t read that to your huge knowledge of the law.”

It was by then that she genuinely like the guy, she never really bother with humans. She could safely say that the amount of human she really value can be counted on one hand. Top of the list was Pete from her hometown, Dorian Williams from Salvatore, and the Gilbert-Salvatore family. Nothing more. 

“I’m not a law grad…”

“Then you’re impressive. I told Tate he should really read the international bylaws but I was dismissed… but you should’ve gone softer to the man. He’s practically in the middle of a divorce.“

“I’ve read far too many of that growing up it’s practically the same. As for easy, you’ve known, this world is harsh,” she billowed a smoke, it’s weed laced with her sister’s prescription, a way to control the blood-curdling pain.

  
Decidedly so, a friendly relation was established between them.

It’s been a week since she slept with Keaton. It’s not bad, it’s a nice release. She could always ring him and he comes running, they never really talk about what it meant. She liked it this way, she’s used to it this way.

Using a body just to blow off steam, she’d done it far too many times that she knew it's a destructive coping mechanism that often leads to hurting the other person, not her, never her. It’s why she was always called having a heart of stone, or too cold. It’s the way she could separate the emotional attachment to the physical things. Until Josie, yeah, until Josie, it’s why when the brunette came knocking on her door, that fateful night that Josie got buried and siphoned her mother back to the afterlife. She couldn’t, she couldn’t just take or even think that it was Josie trying to take by using her, she couldn’t allow it because Josie means so much. Instead, she allowed another hateful word to escaped from Josie and gladly took it. Gladly feel the pain because it’s much better than tainting the things that mean too much for her. 

It’s why when before and the day of the twins’ birthday she texted Keaton to come down to her house. Her mother being back in Richmond and leaving her with Lily and Stella in the house is far too lonely for her when it’s that time of the year and she doesn’t feel like working, so she was thinking of walking around Central Park with her leather-bound sketch notebook, especially that it’s a Sunday. It’s a nice day for a walk. 

“So what am I really doing here? You know you could not just pull me out when I’m a lowly associate being bone-dry by corporate overlords such as yourself for a sweet walk in a park.” she laughs, it’s a Sunday yet the man has been catching up on work. She decided that she’d rather walk near the pond. It's literally just two blocks away from her house. “I never thought our arrangement is bordering to hanging out now, are you falling in love with me already? You know I’m not that kind of guy.”

Right then, as she held her sketching materials and hearing the chatter of people around because of course Central Park is buzzing with people on this kind of a great day, an emotionless laughed escape her.

She wishes, fuck, she wishes she could love anyone. She wishes she could move on to forget the pouty brunette with big sad eyes. 

“I’m bored, my brother is in Seattle for the whole week. Pax is busy, I’m sure Lily and Stella are tired of my company, you’re the only person I could think of who’s not irritating enough.”

“Wow, careful, Penelope. You sound like you’re falling for me.” 

She liked the guy, the dynamic they have. It makes her feel like she’s back in Salvatore where she could flirt that hard with Josie. Because Keaton Thrace have ways of shamefully flirting at her and it reminds her so much of herself when all she needs to worry about was the coven’s mission for her inside Salvatore and not think of caring enough to anyone, mostly, caring just for Josie but we’ve established that she’s a bit dumb on catching signs that she has feelings for the brunette and chalked it up for fascination. 

“I’m sorry, Keaton. You’re never my type. I’m not that narcissistic to date practically a carbon copy of my personality.” 

“You sounds like a real joy to know when you’re younger.” they sat down on the bench that overlooks a pond and a bridge. She pulls out a charcoal pencil, trying to at least sketch the bridge with tourists overlooking the pond and throwing bread for the ducks. 

“Trust me, I don’t really date back then.”

“Oh, just what? Don’t tell me that’s when you start just fucking the next attractive person and never telling them what it meant.” she snorts.

“Now, Keaton, who sounds like someone is catching feelings?” she asked, as she takes her eyes off the paper and looked at the man who is staring at her with twinkling grey eyes. 

“You’re impossible, Penelope.” he shakes his head as he looks forward. “You sound really in pain last night, are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” it’s a well-rehearsed answer already. The amount of fussing she received since her affliction happened has been driving her crazy forever. She usually shields them from it, because she doesn’t need the pitying looks and what she needs is a distraction. 

“I never thought you’re so good at drawing,”

“I’m good at a lot of things.” it’s the truth, she’s far too good on a lot of things. The only thing she’s bad at is letting people in, or not knowing how to broach a subject that is too personal to her. It’s not hard for her to talk about all things possible under and beyond this universe but anything relating to her. She’s practically so bad she always ends up hurting people. It’s the way she delivered her words, she reckoned. It’s about how she always covered her emotion and it ends up attacking the person who was just concerned. 

“Tell me about it,” there’s a teasing remark. 

“I just want to have a nice day, if you really need to go, I’ll understand. You’re not obligated to babysit me, Keaton.”

“Nah, this is far more exciting than staring on my laptop all day working a merger.” 

“Ohhh, tell me who is it?”

“Sorry, P, confidential.”

“You do know that Casimir Balik is my godfather, right?”

“Yeah, yeah, I know… but then ask him if you really wanted to know.”

“Never mind, I’m never really interested.”

“So where lies the interest of the great Penelope Park?”

She stops working on the blending, her stomp lay between her index and thumb. it’s been so long since she thinks about things like that.

“I’m going back to school. Columbia offered.”

“I never really thought of you as someone who liked being in the background.”

“Trust me, I’m overexposed enough. The business can be my forte but my interest always lies in far greater things. I have too many siblings and cousins who can handle that front. I love knowledge far more than being constricted to attend a meeting that could stretch to a whole day discussing the mindless words of numbers when it doesn’t really impact the whole organization. It impacts those people who seat on the top because they’re far too greedy that their earnings are being affected.” she honestly hated it, especially how Ethuil and Noctis have humans and even witches on the board who always complained about a tricking down on their stock. As if it wouldn’t recover the next few weeks or days. 

“A corporate overlord who hated the system. WOw!” 

“Shut up, there are far more important things to do.”

“What? solves world hunger?”

“Please, the number of billionaires on that lane of the street can totally solve it, yet they’re too busy funding war crimes around the world. Human politics really exhaust me that most of the time I wish I was not sober.” she pointed where she came from. 

“You always talk like you hate humans as if you aren’t.”

Times like this, remind her that she’s not really speaking to a supernatural being, that somewhere along the way her life changes she stop surrounding herself with people like her. 

Instead of delving into her problem, she answered something she would have pulled when she’s younger.

“I’m too amazing to be lump to the rest of you.” 

It earned an earful of laughter, amused baritone-voiced followed.

For a time being she forget that it’s the twin’s birthday. Until it’s lunchtime and Keaton asked her if she wanted to go on the best pizza in Harlem. For them to check the university being a few blocks away and where she’ll be spending her time. Her dual degree in Physics and Philosophy from Sorbonne earned her quite a good standing to Columbia. 

The school reminded her of Josie. Josie who is in Columbia, preferably around the university ground enjoying her birthday, with Caroline. Definitely Caroline.

The vampire texted her earlier if she wanted to meet. Hope and Lizzie weren’t aware she’s back in the States. It’s better that way because she sure is gonna face the two’s wrath if they ever learn that she’s back in New York and not doing anything to get Josie back.

The two have been such a warrior on pushing her back to Josie’s arm as if the taller brunette doesn’t have a pretty strawberry blonde girlfriend who’s bringing stability to the brunette. Not that she’s above home wrecking. She’s pretty chaotic enough but what she really needed was time to come up for reason. She’s far too scarred already to receive another ignalusa spell from Josie if she just appeared out of thin air and say stuff like hey, Jo-jo… you’ve beat it, or hey, Jo-Jo, I know it’s been seven years but I’m glad you’re well. By the way congrats on surviving the merge, it took me a whole lot of research and galavanting around the world to find the appropriate items needed to create some of the tools. She’s pretty sure the brunette will burn her to crisp. Because there’s no right way to really say all the things that she’s been involved in just to look for the solution to stopping the deadly ritual, the Gemini coven has.

“I’m not really up for pizza and don’t think about you being invited around the campus. I’m never coming with a date in any mixer I’m required to attend to.”

“Aww, P, you really hurting me right here, don’t push too much or I’m leaving you right here.” it was full of faux hurt and she’s glad the guy could take her bluntness. It’s one of the things she liked about the guy, it kinda reminds her of Hope. 

“Let’s just go to Giorgio’s I’m craving that Sicilian salad, paperone crusci, and some links.” she decides, she kept the voice inside her head at bay, on how that pasta reminds her of chef Noel’s cooking which is one of Josie’s usual for lunch.

***

“You never want to talk, do you?” she hums, there’s some unfinished sketch on her pad, they’re outside, and seeing the influx of foot traffic and vehicles passing around, she'd been silent since they stumble in the restaurant. 

There’s something so frenetic in New York City, she observes the people as she tries to sketch fast, very unlike of other places she’d been for the past years. Paris though packed with tourists is never this wild, there’s a solemnity in walking through the streets of Paris compared to New York brusque way.

“How about you just say, yes or no, it’s getting boring talking about my whole road to Harvard by being the best fencing athlete that I am.”

“No, offense, Keaton but I grew up from the sport and I don’t think you’re on par with me from what we’ve seen already,” she answered. She sits back, fully resting her back on the metal chair, looking the man in the eye.

“God, it was just three times we bout.”

“Three times I won most points.” she smiles. It was fun, the guy was tall and his body movement is easy to read. 

“Fine, so, tell me, is there someone else?” she squints her eyes at the bleached-haired man. “I’ll take that as a yes, now, my question is why the fuck are you fucking around with me?” 

“I thought we’d have an understanding… no personal talk regarding my personal life, isn’t my love life part of the personal life clause we‘ve discussed?”

“I’m curious, P. Because you’re a great catch. We’ve been spending most times for weeks now and yeah half the time it’s undressing each other but you’re,” he uses his hands gesturing to her, “men and women throw themselves to a woman like you, so my only thought was, you’re in love with someone. Are they too unattainable that a great person like yourself could never be with them? I try squeezing your guard dog but for some reason she hates me.” 

Penelope has been entertaining Keaton and his monologue but what made her broke into a soft chuckle was Lily. Lily who she grew up with and have been her shadow since the time she learned what entails to be a Park. Lily never approved most of the girls or boys she dated until she introduced Josie. It’s not new to her that the slender girl usually gives anyone a hard time because she knew. She knew nothing compares to anyone anymore. 

“Oh, you’re smiling, so she does know something,” 

“Keaton, some things are just hard to understand… but I’ll try. What will you do if the person you considered your person ended up breaking your heart, spent months of annoying you then up and left… then show up after let’s say seven years, and say hey, I’m sorry for leaving but it’s all because I’m doing it for you? What will you do?”

Keaton has a face of disbelief like he didn’t expect her to say anything but she did. It was vague and she wanted another mind on it because for the last year she’d been trying to come up with proper things to say and it felt lacking. Not to add that she have her own problem to deal with and god knows Josie deserved a break from all talks of dying. 

“Wow, I never thought you’re that kind of a douche.”

“The fuck!? Why do you think I’m the one who left.”

“P, you have the whole reflection of a heartbreaker, no offense.” he gestured in front of her, “The rocker chic you’d been sporting just screams, hey I’m a heartbreaker.” she throws the piece of olive at the guy.“Hey, this is a four thousand bespoke shirt.”

“I don’t care, you’re an ass, and for your information, I have other styles.”

“But honestly, if you did it because you think it’s for the best. If they really know you and trust you. I think they’ll forgive you.” 

She laughs, what a pickle situation she got herself in. Trust. She far dragged that down to the murkiest water that Josie would never think of trusting her. The brunette fully expressed how much trusting her never reaps great result and she doubts after all the shit she pulled the siphoner could ever trust her again. Gone were the days where Josie blindly trust her, she broke that one far too many times and now she has to accept the consequence of living without the brunette. 

***

It was seven and Pax have messaged her, she’s pretty spent. Her afternoon fritters away with Keaton’s company because she wanted to forget so much but suddenly her mind was just too alive for some reason. So without much thought, she told him she’s coming. Might as well drown out her sorrows with unlimited free alcohol and drag Keaton out. Not minding it’s a Monday and Monday’s and lawyers in her uncle’s firm means early morning meeting. She couldn’t really care less.

“Get up,” she poked the half-dressed man.

“P, another?”

“No, my cousin is asking me to go down the West End. I’d rather have a drinking buddy while he goes over with some traders on Chapman’s trying to pull information out of him in his club for a possible drug that coming out next month.” She answered.

She already showered and been dressed to an oversized white shirt where she rolled the sleeves into three-fourths and doing a french tucked on the paul smith black skinny jeans. Looking around for her collection of leatherjackets she settled for vintage and heavily studded. She glances at the mirror, she looked hot, especially with her long hair down like this. Settling for the smokey and red lip she’s done and the man is already up with his clothes on. 

Penelope wasn’t thinking much as she walked inside Somersault, she’d been to the club a handful of times. It was Pax's investment to the locals, the club has now been a gathering for yuppies, tourist and college guys, and gals and earning as the best raving area around this side of town. This is where she even took Keaton and where they sealed the deal. 

But what she didn’t expect is seeing Hope Mikaelson hours later and dragging her away from Keaton to be brought in front of Josie and Lizzie when she spent all her day trying to forget them. She even turned her phone off and opened it earlier which is why she saw Pax messaged late because she’s not in the mood to deal with any supernaturals today. It’s the reason why she asked Keaton instead of anyone else. 

So seeing Josie when she spent her day trying to not think of seeing her is a bit reductive now. God, she’s been forcing herself back to agree on Caroline’s and gatecrash their lunch and the reason why she left her phone in the house. She knew that this day is beyond special because this is the day that confirms that the twins are not bound to the Merge anymore. It’s why she was distracting herself since last night, it’s the reason why she has been feeling so restless since last night that despite the pain she’s under she couldn’t sleep. Now, Josie Saltzman is in front of her looking so tall and attractive with her sad brown eyes and shocked expression. 

She wanted to change it, but she caught the woman on Josie’s arm. _The girlfriend._ She heard far too many tales about the strawberry blonde. Josie is not really built for the whole ‘FWB’ that she knew in an instant that the two’s relationship will change one way or the other. In the back of her mind, she was hoping that Josie will get hurt but boy how wrong was she. 

Penelope has no qualms that both of them were stunned. It took her almost a minute to recover. Then she goes on staring at Lizzie and Hope acting like she doesn’t know why all of them are all gathered in New York. 

Maybe she’s really that dumb, acting like she doesn’t know what’s today is and greeting the twins with the most epically fail 'greetings' she could muster. To add to the pain she’s already regularly feeling was Josie’s sad puppy dog eyes, the brunette never did know how to hide her emotions, and it's one of the traits she loves about her. However, seeing the pained expression on the doe-eyed brunette made her world drab and grey. 

She never really wanted to hurt the brunette that way but she’s grasping for straws, she never felt this off guard. So she did the next best thing to at least salvage the situation. Offer them the private game room upstairs, because the whole area is booming with bass and loud electronic music. Calling one of the servers to stay put on the upper floor because she will need the drink. Pretty sure the twins and Hope would need it too. 

Penelope was trying so hard. She’d spent her time talking to Marcella. Trying to be better, because she couldn’t really put Josie in a bad situation anymore. They are way past that, all the history they have was tainted badly because of her. This is one of the things she could do, consider all things to be at least lighter so when Josie challenged her to go for a double date. She wanted to take the bait, to at least test it, on how much they could hurt each other if they ever did. Then Lizzie spoke up, and she’s reminded that no, she wouldn’t subject Josie to it anymore. 

She’s not blind, she knew seeing her stunned Josie far more than necessary, to add that the first time she saw her, she was grinding and making out in the club with someone. She understands the hurt that’s coming back up from Josie, not that it means the brunette still loves her. It’s just that their history is far more hurtful than anything else that seeing her was just a reminder of that. 

She drank far too many expensive french brandies that she found herself agreeing for breakfast. At least brunch, because she gathers, she herself wouldn’t be able to wake up after the amount of alcohol she consumed. 

It’s way past one, they spent three hours together. But as she smokes outside, the side door of the bar where her car is located opened and Josie slipped out. 

“You still haven’t changed.” there’s a beat, a silence to take in what Josie said as the cold New York air hit her face. There’s a draft somewhere, even if they are surrounded by buildings. 

She can feel the fight in there, waiting to just burst out and she really couldn’t deal with it right now. The pounding in her head and the splitting pains around her body is enough for her to approach it lightly, just shrug and direct the topic.

“You change, Neuroscience, huh,” she comments, she left it open, not really wanting to go deeper over it and something about a need for filling her lungs with smoke rather than talk to the woman beside her. She wasn’t sure that Josie will follow her. “How are you?” it feels foreign, to ask someone you have so much history of just a simple ‘how are you,’ yet she did it anyway.

“I’m good. Escaped the craziness of Mystic Falls.” there’s a small smile coming from her, she’s glad. “I miss the place, especially the school, but there are too many memories that are far too sad there. I knew I needed to start somewhere else.”

“You chose New York?” she knew Josie always loved New York, it often is the topic whenever they talk about the future, when their life was a bit easy, with just school, her coven’s responsibilities, and Josie. 

“You know how much I love New York,” there’s an edge on her voice, Josie as if, since their worlds collide kept reminding her of things of the past. She wasn’t sure of what to do with that information yet. So she thinks of the easiest way to navigate their situation, the safest because Penelope Park isn’t ready for that bubbling rage inside Josie’s eyes. 

“Yeah, the broadway shows, the bar where you can perform, the eclectic cultures, food, what else do I forgot?” she teased, they used to joke about New York, about living together and see everything that New York could offer, “Oh the parks… the dog parks too, however, the smell of sewers, the rats… the danger…”

“You told me about ballet, the underground music scene, and the rich and gruesome crimes that New York experienced. You just liked traumatizing me, do you?” Josie spoke, there’s some wistfulness in it. She glances over the flickering lights from the other building window pane. 

“Yeah,” she smiles, it brought up the first day she took the girl out for date night. “Thanks for not pushing about the double date.” she doesn’t know why she put herself in a vulnerable state after telling herself to stay on the topic where she wouldn’t set Josie’s anger but the brunette has always been good at doing that to her.

“No, I know, I’m sorry, Lizzie and Hope, however.” that was surprising, hearing how Josie took the conversation away from them.

“They’ve been going to that trajectory, I wasn’t even surprised.”

  
“I know, but I never thought they would act on it. They were always on this dance for years and—“

“Something broke the camel back?”

They both laugh, at least they could laugh together. It’s easier, she could feel the numbness ebbed a little.

“I’m glad we met again,” Josie said, she doesn’t know if it’s just Josie being half-drunk or it’s genuine. 

“Yeah, same.” her phone vibrated in her pocket, she pulled out and saw it was Keaton. “Hey, I think I’m bringing Keaton home, see you later?” 

Josie nods, she finished her joint and they went back inside to bade everyone goodbye, Hope and Lizzie end up staying in her aunt Bex’s penthouse in the Upper West Side area facing Central Park. Josie and her girlfriend went back to their dorm place near the campus and her, circling to Hell’s Kitchen to drop the lawyer off before heading to her place. 

Josie’s voice and face haunt her.

“Take care, don’t drive too fast…”

it's a reminder of the times she'd drive to her half-sister's on the weekend. A concerned look on Josie's face.

The four sent her and Keaton to the side door where her car is located. 

Keaton was the one who broke the silence inside the car.

“So, Josie then…” 

she quirk her brow, but she remained focused on the street, she can see some of the construction going on, it’s the time of the night. 

“No comment?” the baritone voice is teasing, she knew the observant lawyer caught it, but she shakes his eyeing all throughout the night, but being confined inside her small car. She knew she needed to give an answer.

“I don’t know what you want me to say, Keaton…”

“The heart you broke.”

“Yeah, can you drop it?”

“Okay, P. Just a little advice, there’s still something there. Don’t just turn your back in that.” 

It’s honest and serious, something she hadn’t got from the guy. She knew, but there’s also the factor about being honest to the siphoner, and knowing she doesn’t know how to tell her. 

That night as she lies on her bed, she’s startled.

She yelps, loudly as a weight suddenly drops on her right.

“So, you think you escaped me?”

“Mikaelson, as much as we both know you want to end up in my bed so bad, I’d rather not risk it, knowing who your girlfriend is right now,” 

“Shut up, and Liz is asleep. You literally let the strongest liquor flowed.” she feel the weight beside her shuffled, “I’m visiting because we have not to talk, also when are you scared of Lizzie?”

“Aren’t we having breakfast later?” disregarding Hope's latter question, not really in the mood to tell the story of how Lizzie tried to boil her blood after learning the drunken make-out that happened a few years back.

“Yeah, but that’s with the twins.” she closes her eyes and hums, “You know, the situation with Josie. When will you tell her?”

The biggest question of the century. She still doesn’t know what the answer is. 

“You know there’s no right time, right? Like we’ve talked about this far too many times and I’m tired of hearing you say you’re looking for the right time.”

“I always mess her up in the most inconvenient time, Hope. You knew that, you’d somewhat saw that. I— I just want to do it right this time.”

“You’re running away, Penelope.”

Maybe she is because as much as she talked about seizing the day or facing your problems head-on. Josie is the only one she couldn’t get right when it comes to that. 

“I’ll try tomorrow,”

“Lizzie and I will be there, you’ll have our backs.”

“Unless Josie burns the three of us on the spot.”

“I’ll ready the extinguishing spells and the burn balm.” 

“Thanks, Red.” 

“I know we don’t do mushy shit but I love you, okay. Aunt Freya told me you have a breakthrough?”

“There’s something… I mean I found the solution but I’m still hesitant.”

“You’ll get there… you’re brilliant, P. If anyone can solve any convoluted problem, it’s you.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence, Mikaelson. You remain the baddest.”

“Shut up!”

She ends up laughing through the morning with the tribrid, until Hope went back to her place. Leaving her alight and with a bit of happiness back. 

How their world got inverted, there was a time when she’s the one who used to poke around Hope defenses. Now it was the tribrid. Both of them went through different kinds of traumas and hardened by them.

By nine she texted Hope to meet near a breakfast café near her house, it was a witch-owned establishment and knew her. She hadn’t had Josie’s phone number so she extends her invitation via Hope and Lizzie. 

She asked Gus for the private room. It overlooks the trees and trails around Central Park. She was the first to come and she’s nervous. Nervous because she knew why she asked for the privacy of this area, it’s to accept Josie’s wrath and leaving with the final nail to their relationship. 

The tribrid is right, she spent far too many days thinking of the consequences.

So when the couple walked in with Josie in tow. She stood up, a little hug, and pat on the back before it came to them. It was awkward until Josie just nods and sat down beside her twin. 

Their server, Lin, is quick to gather the three’s order, the shop knew her regular that a steaming cup of black coffee is served to her as the three get on with their order.

She breathes deeply, as she focused on making sure her coffee is the right kind of bitter with just a hint of sugar. She knew all eyes are on her.

“So, As I said, I’m glad you two are now alright…” she said weakly, she continued to stir her coffee, but her eyes are focused on Josie. 

She knew she caught her off guard, “I’m sorry, I wasn’t there when the heights of rituals are going on. I was in Europe but I did hear all about it knowing I was the one who came up to half the solution.” she said flatly. She’s never been good at sugarcoating things. 

Penelope could read how Josie’s face changes… there’s something in her demeanor, trying to grasp the things that she confesses. So she went on, as their breakfast came. She shared the travels, going around the world to look for the Gemini Relics that were lost in the supernatural black market. Lizzie and Hope contributing to it as Lizzie and Caroline travel together for at least a year. It was fine at the most part, there’s an unreadable atmosphere that’s running around but they went forward. 

In the end, it was the most rigid brunch she ever did, until Lizzie spoke that turned the icy cold room with warmth and laughter. 

“So who wanted to hear how Hope told me she wanted to be with me?”

It was light, she was thankful. Because Liz went on with her story, Hope to fill in some gaps while a part of her felt guilty as Josie focused more on her food. She hasn’t really reacted to her whole confession, and she knew this would happen. Josie has a special way of processing the truth. It’s hard for the brunette to react easily and it will take a lot of silence before the brunette really talk. Josie wasn't prone to impulsiveness as she is, and she's glad for that though she can infuriate and shorten Josie's fuse easily.

But when brunch ended and Josie still had that same faraway look, she accepted. Today is not the day that Josie will react to her admission. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> grammatical mistakes are due to the fact I'm not a native English speaker but I try to edit them out as I review my writing. 
> 
> The next installment is going out sooner, it's why the ending seems abrupt. 
> 
> Hope everyone is having a great day or night wherever you, buds, are...

**Author's Note:**

> hope y'all liked this, it's a series, again. it kinda glossed over the main story i'm working on. tell me what you all think, okay? ciao.


End file.
